A Father's Day Tale. . .

I was quite nervous to become a mother. I had spent the last two months of pregnancy pouring over parenting books as if the authors themselves were going to come to my house and, in a round table-like fashion, fire questions at me on such topics as sleep scheduling, formula preparation and benefits of tummy time. I wanted to get this parenting thing down not only for Zoe, but also because I knew that as the mother I would get all the credit if she managed to avoid growing up to be, say, an ax-wielding serial killer, but if serial killing was in her future, I would get most of the blame. . . it's always the mother.

After she was born, my obsession about doing everything "by the book" kicked into full gear. It wasn't that I thought Mike wouldn't be a great dad, I did. It's just that he hadn't put in the time; where were his notes in the margin of The Baby Whisperer? Where were his parenting websites booked marked? I decided early on that there needed to be a plan, a schedule, a right way to do things and I had Dr. Spock to back me up.

That changed a couple weeks ago. I had taken Zoe to the park as I normally did. I had spread out a blanket and she sat up on her own and played, the Bumbo long since retired. I caught a glimpse of the swings at the playground, you know, the rubber ones that safely encase a child not yet ready for the ones without sides. As I strolled towards them I noticed the sign, "This playground is intended for children 2-5 years of age." Ok, Zoe was just over six months old and the sign said "no". Just looking at the swing with my infant in tow made me feel like I was ripping off the the tag on the mattress. What would my books say? Should I call the pediatrician on this one?

I moved forward making sure I was alone and could avoid the judgemental glares of the other mothers as they wondered how I could so blatantly disregard the sign, obviously putting my daughter in harm's way. I placed Zoe in the swing, she nervously teetered, then I promptly tore her away vowing never again to break the rules, to deviate from the milestone schedule set up by people much smarter than myself.

Two days later, I came home from work only to have Mike (who knew nothing of the great swing trauma) show me some photos of his day with Zoe. There she was in the swing, and well, swinging. Zoe was grinning from ear to ear, flying in the only way she could. As I looked through the pictures I started imagining the scene: Mike placing her in the swing, Zoe nervously teetering, and him allowing her to take a risk, knowing he would be there to catch her if she fell.

It was then I realized that in raising Zoe, there are different ways, better ways. . . her father's ways.

Zoe is incredibly lucky.

Happy Father's Day to all dad's, especially my own, who had a different way, one that lead to some fine results.