A Mother's Plea. . .

Dear Zoe:
You are almost one. In light of this fact I am writing to ask a favor of you. It's a big favor but please hear me out before you answer right away. Here it goes; please stop growing up so fast. That's it. I don't think it is too much to ask. I mean, really, what's the rush? Sure, when you get older you'll be able to do things like walk and tie your shoes. Yeah, there's that whole thing about being at the playground and using equipment other than the swings. Sure, Halloween might be more exciting for you than it is now (yes, the fish costume is just one more annoying thing your mother makes you wear). But when you get older I will also expect you to pick up the toys you so leisurely toss around the house and make you wear shoes; do you really want to deal with that headache? I know I am asking a lot, but you have a full week to think about it before you make your decision. I'm told it is my right, nay my responsibility as a mother to use the guilt card, so here is my best shot. Who was it that almost one year ago spent 15 hours in labor with you? Who remained vigilantly positioned on her right side for the last three of those 15 hours as you so demanded from the womb? That's correct, your mother. Who slept on the chair for the first two months of your life so that you could sleep yourself? Who plays airplane with you and scouts the neighborhood for feral cats just so you can say your first word, "kitty cat"? Who makes you pumpkin yogurt and has waffle weekends with you? Who takes you to feed the ducks and lets you play with the keyboard in her office? Who got you hooked on milk? Who brushes all of your seven teeth? Yeah, the answer is me. Your father does many good things for you too, but I think he is secretly looking forward to you growing and changing. So, don't talk to your father about this, he is sleep-deprived from his crazy work schedule and isn't thinking straight. So that's it, a simple request and one that I hope you will consider. I will be anxiously awaiting your answer on Tuesday. Until then, just know that this has been the best year of my life and I love you very much. Happy birthday Juicy, Juicy Pickle.
Love,
Mommy